Check Major Please!

Is it bad I feel like I don't belong? So I've been questioning myself over, and over and over again, should I be in this thing called art? I've questioned myself as to why I entered this major. I like some art, I came into art being inspired by Pixar, but wait? Isn't that Animation Illustration? Well, I knew I did not have the patience to draw so I took up Graphic Design. As I progressed in my years here at SJSU, I decided to just go for my BA in Graphic Design, because I had recently gotten accepted into our BFA program of Digital Media Art. I came into this major expecting that I could learn a tid-bid of everything. from improving my graphic design skills to learning flash and making cool websites. Though there seems to be so much more to this major. 

DMA, defined by SJSU as a fine art study which is totally different from Design studies which DO include Graphic Design. *sigh*. Was it me, or did my teacher say "if your questioning what your doing, then you shouldn't be in this major". So what am I doing? I like art, but what do I know? There so much to learn and yet I feel so un-accomplished as an artist. I mean I don't even know what I want to do in my future endeavors yet as an artist. That is why I question "What the hell am I doing here?" My good friends always tell me to stop second guessing myself but maybe I am just to self absorbed to understand this thing called art. I have all this time I could use to research and see whats out there, but what do I do? I feel like I am doing nothing with my time, life for that matter. Why do I beat myself up about this stuff though? 

Rethinking my choice of college, perhaps I did make a mistake (be it School and choice of major within the art field). As much as I like Digital Media Art, maybe it was the wrong path for me. I mean as much as I wanted to learn flash, I learned to hate it more then ever after taking 101b, but its all the technical things that drives me nuts (technical would be the Action Script which is horribly dry and boring). What is it do I want to do? I have a thing for fashion which IS art. I think this discovery changes everything. Before, I just strived to succeed but this past year has nothing but questioning and falling fast and failing hard (or is that vice-versa?). So after I graduate, although I can't set my future in stone, I will for sure take a year off and originally I thought to check out the MFA program for DMA at UCLA but I think I have another optional path, to check out FIDM at San Francisco.  That is the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising for those who don't know. Who knows, life is full of surprises so who knows where I will end up, what I will do...heh. I guess that's all for this entry...DMA or FIDM?